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#204350 - 03/01/10 09:14 PM Expectations - Being a Man
Lancer Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/26/01
Posts: 382
Loc: Seated in the East
From the East Coast to the West Coast, the definition of "Being a Man" varies depending on who you talk to. It could be you are expected to provide for your family, or perhaps stepping up in your community and helping out, perhaps it's expected for you to punch out that annoying dude in the corner who wont leave that girl alone, or maybe it's the whole "I am the lord of my manor" thing...there are many definitions as to what a "man" is but the one thing we can all agree on is that no one has the same definition. Everyone's is different.

For me? It's just being who I am and doing what I feel is right. Coming from a very feminist-strong family background (My mother, aunts, Grandmothers, and their associated friends) I was always taught that my life was about my choices, and that I could be what I wanted to be. I always assumed this had meant in terms of a career, however what they were teaching me was more far reaching and less specific than I could ever imagine.

What they really meant was that, as a person, I have a choice into who I become. That being a Man, or a person, means that I make my own decisions and carve my own expectations. I set my own rules and I live by them, and by extension I will be judged by the public at large based on those decisions. I also learned that no matter what I do, there will always be people who disagree with my choices. Even to the extent of causing me harm.

My decisions always had consequences, intended or no, and they were not just limited to things that had risks to them. Sure, I could expect consequences from things like taking drugs or breaking the law, but what about the more mundane consequences from things like taking a new job or choosing a new car? Was I prepared to deal with those?

For a brief time, I decided that because all my decisions had consequences that the best thing for me to do was to eliminate or find a way to escape consequences for the things I had done...and for a very long time I found myself very adept at such things. Why pay when you can play?

Because that's not how I want to live my life. To me, that's not being a "man". To me, that's being a thief, a coward, a liar, and a crook.

I'm certain that if I had to do "bad" things for the sake of the "good" that I could come up with a perfectly plausible and logical reason for doing them and in the process justify being a "man" in this case....but would that make me a man or just something else?

What I'm trying to get at here is that defining a "Man" is not nearly as clear cut as people make it out to be.

What are your thoughts?
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- Lancer
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"All in, Motherfucker"

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#204356 - 03/03/10 04:16 AM Re: Expectations - Being a Man [Re: Lancer]
blue eyed devil Offline
sane is just crazy on a lunchbreak
veteran

Registered: 05/12/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: that place, you know the one.....
I like the way you think. Brute force , muscles and cocky attitude do not make a man. What makes a man is more about what's on the inside. How he carries himself, how he handles his responsibilities, how he treats the people around him, and the goals he has for himself and his loved ones in the future.

As to what you asked, what sort of "bad" things would you be doing for the greater "good" to justify being a man? Are we talking things like little white lies that can save someone a world of hurt or something bigger, more intense? If it was something on a bigger scale, if you stepped up and took responsibility for yourself and accepted the consequences that would be "manly" of you. Not a lot of people have the guts to face up to themselves.

Nothing is ever as clear cut as anyone makes it seem. I believe though that no matter who you are, if you stick to the Golden Rule and are confident about the positive choices you're making then you're doing alright smile
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"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"

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#204384 - 03/18/10 12:47 AM Re: Expectations - Being a Man [Re: blue eyed devil]
Lancer Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/26/01
Posts: 382
Loc: Seated in the East
Originally Posted By: blue eyed devil
I like the way you think. Brute force , muscles and cocky attitude do not make a man. What makes a man is more about what's on the inside. How he carries himself, how he handles his responsibilities, how he treats the people around him, and the goals he has for himself and his loved ones in the future.

As to what you asked, what sort of "bad" things would you be doing for the greater "good" to justify being a man? Are we talking things like little white lies that can save someone a world of hurt or something bigger, more intense? If it was something on a bigger scale, if you stepped up and took responsibility for yourself and accepted the consequences that would be "manly" of you. Not a lot of people have the guts to face up to themselves.

Nothing is ever as clear cut as anyone makes it seem. I believe though that no matter who you are, if you stick to the Golden Rule and are confident about the positive choices you're making then you're doing alright smile


As far as "bad" things I'd be doing for the greater good, I was alluding to things like having to sacrifice one-for-the-many allegory.

You also have hit the nail on the head as far as what I consider to be the "greatest sin" we all have...and that is the inability for a person to face themselves. Remember the movie "The Neverending Story" where the reader/Atreau had to face the mirror....face who he really was? I guarantee that if the same situation was presented to many of us that the VAST MAJORITY would not pass, simply because it is far easier to face the devil himself than the people we have become.

Yet why is that? Why is it harder for us to face ourselves considering WE are the one single person we spend the most time with?

Mmmmmmm *Ponders question*
_________________________
- Lancer
---------
"All in, Motherfucker"

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